Ever feel scared to succeed?

[ItBeThatWay27]

I am wondering if anyone else ever feels scared to succeed at something? Or maybe not scared to succeed, but maybe too scared to attepmt anything because of the fear of rejection?? I guess I am one of those people and until recently I guess I have been making excuses for myself. Reasons WHY I COULDN'T do something.... right now all I can think of is that Alanis Morissette song "Excuses"....
Recently I have decided to go out on a limb and apply at a film school in Florida, which is probably like 10 hours away or so. I feel like I am going to get caught up in the dead-end job lifestyle and be doing something I hate forever (especially after I have kids) and I had this epiphany the other week and finally decided not to be scared anymore and to just DO SOEMTHING. So I sent in my initial paperwork and after a few rounds of phone tag, I talked w/ the director this morning and so now I am onto the next step, which is applying for a Sallie Mae loan so I can go. If I get approved for that, then I fill out an application and find a place to live while I go to school there (8 weeks). Now I am the type of person to take all this information and get nervous and automatically back out, give an excuse why I can't go through with it and take the easy and painful way out.
I am trying so hard to not do that this time b/c I know I need this. I keep thinking about Jewel's approach to something like this in her life, and also the poem in A Night Without Armor, "The things you fear" which I put on my signature (you can read it there if u don't know it).
Well this has just been weighing down my brain today so I felt sort of bloggy so i figured I'd come here and get some input. Anyone have any inspirational words or some stories of their own on how they do the "excuses" routine or how they overcame it.. ?

[last_dance_rodeo]

I've never really overcome anything. I think I'm still afraid to succeed, because I think that it'll change the person I am. Like if I get a good paying job and I'm pretty well off that I'll be like this big ego'ed big spender or something. I would just go for it Gary, you deserve it and I think you'd be great at it. It might get hard sometimes but life isn't exactly easy. I wish I could go back but I'm just scared that I don't have the finances and all that stuff.

[Little Bird]

You will always learn when taking steps such as this. I think it would be brilliant for you. It is only 8 weeks yet it can make a lifetime of a difference.

I am terrified of failing at my new career. I left the comfort of IT for a completely unknown profession in Buying and Merchandising. I'm up there with the big guys of Ireland's biggest retailer and it terrifies me every morning.

I knew IT. I was great at it and could do it with my eyes closed. I was bored with it though and pretty much got screwed in what turned out to be a big male bonding session hell bent on getting any women out. I never believed that would ever happen until the last 3 weeks when I finally witnessed what everyone else was telling me. It was scary to move. I was afraid of failure but terrified of succeeding too.

Not only the career move, Peter and I are finally talking about starting our own family. It is something we have very openly spoken about throughout our relationship and now that we're married, I have never been so broody. BUt it has always been one of thos things that would be 'some day' but felt like a million miles away. Now that we've settled seriously on the idea and properly planning, it finally becomes terrifyingly real. Will I make a good mother? SHould we wait a little longer when we are more financially secure? Will I f**k up my own child with my own unconscious insecurities? Anyway, we're at least a year away from anything like that (damn health insurance) but either way, I'll forever worry about this.

I suppose we're all like this. It is only human I suppose.

Go for it Gary! Even if nothing becomes of it (but I believe it will), you will definitely learn more than you realise from the experience alone and that would be worth it enough in itself.

Hope you'll still be around here though! We'll miss ya too much.

[ItBeThatWay27]

See Kiera I am sort of on the same page w/ you as far as starting a family goes. We really want to start a family but not sure how much longer we should wait. Most people say if you wait until you have enough $$ you will never have children b/c in your mind you will never be ready. And I want kids really bad but I know after that going back and doing what I want for me will be really difficult and a lot of people have expressed regret in that area, including Andrea (I miss Andrea btw). So I decided to do this first and come back and then probably next year we will begin making plans.
I don't think I am really planning in my subcontious to not go or not fill out paperwork, but I know the idea is there somewhere.. I am just trying to keep it buried and not let it surface. I am nervous/scared that I can't get a loan from Sallie Mae. My credit isn't terrible but it's not the best either. I am pretty good at letting it slip my mind to pay my credit card bills on time.. anyway thanks for the support Chris and Kiera and hey if I do get to go to Florida, me and Christie will get to meet in person! so we can add more photos to the jkf-members-unite album!

[last_dance_rodeo]

I miss Andrea too, and hey no fair I want to meet you guys too!

[DreamsLast]

Plan a trip to Florida in March and we can!! :-) Easier said than done, I know. It would be cool to meet you guys.

Regarding fear of success or failure, well I know this might sound depressing but part of my perfectionist, Type A personality is that subconsciously I tell myself it's not going to work out. I figure whatever news I get I'll either be excited, or if I don't achieve it, I'm already prepared for the failure so it won't hurt so bad. That probably doesn't make any sense, but to me it does somehow. But I have found that preparing myself for the fact that I might fail actually makes me more motivated to do even better. It's kinda like a rollercoaster. So far I haven't really failed anything yet. Everything I've gone for I have achieved successfully. I do everything in my power to prevent not succeeding and in the end I'm usually surprised that I achieved it.

I guess that's part of my motivation, to prevent failing at something. I want to be the best of whatever it is I can be. A lot of this is the amazing work ethic my father passed down to me. I grew up just outside tiny town in the middle of BFE, and I always knew I had to get out of there. My dad taught me to be the best of whatever it is, and it will take me places. He said that in the small-town environment I was in I had to work that much harder to achieve anything. He was right.

[batsocks]

Just do it- not just a tagline for trainers but for life.

Money is not important, we will never have enough.

Inner happiness and being proud of the person you see in the mirror is important.

Things will find a way of being. Everything is uncertain, you have to live your dreams. Otherwise you will spend a lifetime of regret.

Who knows what will happen tomorrow?

[ItBeThatWay27]

Thanks batsocks I am glad you came back to the forum! Very inspiring words.