When is realism too harsh?

ItBeThatWay27 · 02-11-2007, 04:31 PM

Going back to some of the other threads regarding Jewel's whole realism and the whole GAIW theme... I have been thinking lately, at what point does having all this realism become too harsh?
I think it's healthy to have a great deal of realism in everything we do, but some people just can't handle it. Are there limits? Should it be ok to tell our friends that they need to grow up? Or tell our children that the world is full of drug dealers and rapists? Is calling things as we see them becoming too harsh a form of realism?
Please add some input!

Eibhlin · 02-11-2007, 05:42 PM

Are we talking about realism in the form of say honesty? Honesty is good in my opinion, HOW it is presented is important as well though. Alot of people use the whole honesty thing as a reason to be outrightly rude though...I'm all for bluntness relative to each situation. If I ask someone their opinion, then I expect a degree of politeness. If I am doing something dangerous like drug abuse, then eventually the politeness needs to end. If I am trying out for American Idol and totally suck, then Simon has every right to tell me so. For me it's all relative. I tell my kids there are people out there who would hurt them if they could, but do I tell them the people may tie them to a bed or rape them repeatedly? No, they will learn those sordid details (hopefuly just from the news) soon enough. If someone needs to grow up and you've tried gently to help them, then yes, there comes a time when they need to be told to do so.

I don't know if that was just a bunch of random blabbering, I have a Dora the Explorer singing in my ear at the moment, but I hope that went along with what you were trying to say.

ItBeThatWay27 · 02-11-2007, 09:04 PM

yeah that's mainly what I meant. It's a similar topic to the other thread I did about telling your kids about santa and all... but yeah you made great sense about being honest with people without being brutal. And you are right, some people use the "I'm just being honest" excuse to be rude and hateful.
hmmmm ok so you think the degree of truth should be modified based on who you are dealing with? Like with your kids, it's good to be truthful but not graphic about it, and with an adult who needs to know they are terrible at singing, just be blunt with them?
hmmm I am trying to think of some more examples to bring up... I'll have to think on it.

last_dance_rodeo · 02-12-2007, 12:22 AM

I have to agree with what Andrea said. It's kind of hard to explain it but Andrea is right. Sometimes you just can't be too honest especially with kids you don't want to turn them into crazy worriers. But I believe it's always good to be honest. The truth always comes out in the end anyway right?

DreamsLast · 02-12-2007, 12:27 AM

Yessss.........Gary is back!!! I'm so happy to see the intellectual conversation! I'll have to think on this, and post here later.

02-11-2007, 04:31 PM	#1
ItBeThatWay27 Gary, 'Disposable-Hero' Join Date: May 2006 Location: Austin, Texas Posts: 2,242 Rep Power: 0	When is realism too harsh? Going back to some of the other threads regarding Jewel's whole realism and the whole GAIW theme... I have been thinking lately, at what point does having all this realism become too harsh? I think it's healthy to have a great deal of realism in everything we do, but some people just can't handle it. Are there limits? Should it be ok to tell our friends that they need to grow up? Or tell our children that the world is full of drug dealers and rapists? Is calling things as we see them becoming too harsh a form of realism? Please add some input! __________________ so close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters

02-11-2007, 05:42 PM	#2
Eibhlin Oscillating Fan Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 2,044 Rep Power: 254	Are we talking about realism in the form of say honesty? Honesty is good in my opinion, HOW it is presented is important as well though. Alot of people use the whole honesty thing as a reason to be outrightly rude though...I'm all for bluntness relative to each situation. If I ask someone their opinion, then I expect a degree of politeness. If I am doing something dangerous like drug abuse, then eventually the politeness needs to end. If I am trying out for American Idol and totally suck, then Simon has every right to tell me so. For me it's all relative. I tell my kids there are people out there who would hurt them if they could, but do I tell them the people may tie them to a bed or rape them repeatedly? No, they will learn those sordid details (hopefuly just from the news) soon enough. If someone needs to grow up and you've tried gently to help them, then yes, there comes a time when they need to be told to do so. I don't know if that was just a bunch of random blabbering, I have a Dora the Explorer singing in my ear at the moment, but I hope that went along with what you were trying to say. __________________ I'd like to call you my wild horse and feed you silver sage Andrea an eye for an eye makes the world blind

02-11-2007, 09:04 PM	#3
ItBeThatWay27 Gary, 'Disposable-Hero' Join Date: May 2006 Location: Austin, Texas Posts: 2,242 Rep Power: 0	yeah that's mainly what I meant. It's a similar topic to the other thread I did about telling your kids about santa and all... but yeah you made great sense about being honest with people without being brutal. And you are right, some people use the "I'm just being honest" excuse to be rude and hateful. hmmmm ok so you think the degree of truth should be modified based on who you are dealing with? Like with your kids, it's good to be truthful but not graphic about it, and with an adult who needs to know they are terrible at singing, just be blunt with them? hmmm I am trying to think of some more examples to bring up... I'll have to think on it. __________________ so close no matter how far couldn't be much more from the heart forever trusting who we are and nothing else matters

02-12-2007, 12:22 AM	#4
last_dance_rodeo Temporarily Absent Mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: South Dakota Posts: 2,212 Rep Power: 251	I have to agree with what Andrea said. It's kind of hard to explain it but Andrea is right. Sometimes you just can't be too honest especially with kids you don't want to turn them into crazy worriers. But I believe it's always good to be honest. The truth always comes out in the end anyway right? __________________ Her face is moonworn and thin, she's been wishing on too many stars again.

02-12-2007, 12:27 AM	#5
DreamsLast ~~Moderator~~ Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 1,635 Rep Power: 232	Yessss.........Gary is back!!! I'm so happy to see the intellectual conversation! I'll have to think on this, and post here later. __________________ "We are loved beyond our capacity to comprehend..." -Jewel Kilcher, Acoustic Goddess Of Song & Modern Day Troubador