Ask Mad Bloke Bob

bob · 11-15-2005, 10:19 AM

Hi my names BOB! - Ive been assigned by the JKF to help you have a better day. You can call me MAD BOB

Its simple, you tell me what drives you mad about stuff like too much traffic, the national health service, taxes etc etc. I will come up with an answer everytime. There ya go, ask away..................

Eibhlin · 11-15-2005, 02:49 PM

Bob,

When are people in North Carolina going to grasp the concept of not driving slow in the passing lane???

IT DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYYYY!

Andrea

bob · 11-15-2005, 03:34 PM

Andrea

This is a problem caused by YOU!!

YOU are asuming that they are going slow, but actually you are going too fast yourself. Slow down or you will give yourself a hernia.

Put yourself in there shoes, they are going as fast as they need to go to get where they want to go, in the time that they want. Just because you and your stupid pickup truck dont think its fast enough!.

bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!!

MAD BOB

kjm030584 · 11-15-2005, 04:42 PM

Bob, I'm really annoyed with my digestive system. Just when I think everything is going to be okay I find myself making a B-line for the toilet. Why won't the doctors just take my guts out?!

bob · 11-15-2005, 06:40 PM

Kyle - your whats known in the trade as a 'toilet hogger'

Just stop eating - its simple really. Only stop eating when you no longer can see your own feet. That way your digestive system will sort its self out.

If that dosent work eat plenty of Big Macs Supersized as they will quickly sort out your digestive system and give it all a damn good flushing!

Take my advice and you will have no freinds anyway, so that way you dont ever need to worry about it.

you people worry too much.

bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!!

MAD BOB

Eibhlin · 11-15-2005, 08:33 PM

well Bob, I don't have a pickup anymore, otherwise all the slow pokes would be run into the ditches...but moving on

Why is it that once you have a van that runs good, the sliding door has to break so it won't stay shut and you have to bungee cord it closed to go pick your kids up at school????

Little Bird · 11-15-2005, 09:21 PM

Mad bloke Bob.

I get really mad at toll bridges and have often given the look of death to the toll bridge operators. Do you think they are evil...like I do?

last_dance_rodeo · 11-16-2005, 01:24 AM

mad bloke bob, thank god you've came along. I have a dilemma and I hope you can help me. My question to you is why am I attracted to other men?

WhatWouldJewelDo · 11-16-2005, 06:07 AM

Bob, you stole half my name. CHEAP. Not kewel. Not kewel at all. Uhm...

my question is.....

How much do you want to kill my english teacher.... she's a uhm.... a bigger lady, so she wont run fast. What are we talking?? hundreds?? thousands??

Let me know.

;)

bob · 11-16-2005, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Eibhlin@Nov 15 2005, 09:33 PM
well Bob, I don't have a pickup anymore, otherwise all the slow pokes would be run into the ditches...but moving on

Why is it that once you have a van that runs good, the sliding door has to break so it won't stay shut and you have to bungee cord it closed to go pick your kids up at school????

bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!!

MAD BOB

Andrea

Why did you buy a broken van in the first place? - thats just plain stupid.
What you need is a welder, get him to weld up the sliding door shut. Remove your kids through the sunroof. If you dont have a sunroof then cut a tiny escape hatch in the floor.
Ditch the bungee rope.

Its all too simple, stop asking me stupid questions!.

bob · 11-16-2005, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by little_bird@Nov 15 2005, 10:21 PM
Mad bloke Bob.

I get really mad at toll bridges and have often given the look of death to the toll bridge operators. Do you think they are evil...like I do?

Kiera

Toll Bridge operators are the scum of the earth, money grabbing council employers that have nothing better to do with there sorry little lives. I agree with you about them being eveil.

However, if your stupid enough to use toll bridges then thats your stupid fault, stop asking me stupid questions and SWIM ACROSS!

bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!!

MAD BOB

bob · 11-16-2005, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by last_dance_rodeo@Nov 16 2005, 02:24 AM
mad bloke bob, thank god you've came along. I have a dilemma and I hope you can help me. My question to you is why am I attracted to other men?

Thats just *uc*** up Chris, you wanna get yourself women, whats wrong with you man?

How can a man be attracted to another man anyway? - Heres what i sugest you do. You go buy a dirty magazine with pictures of naked ladies (not men)

You take the magazine to your bedroom, and do the nessasary. If that dosent stop your attraction to men then your more stupid than your stupid question. Get out of my face and think of something challenging to ask me.

bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!!

MAD BOB

bob · 11-16-2005, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WhatWouldJewelDo@Nov 16 2005, 07:07 AM
Bob, you stole half my name. CHEAP. Not kewel. Not kewel at all. Uhm...

my question is.....

How much do you want to kill my english teacher.... she's a uhm.... a bigger lady, so she wont run fast. What are we talking?? hundreds?? thousands??

Let me know.

;)

First of all Bobby, i didnt steal your name, im assuming your name was given to your by your parents? yes? - then get over yourself, theres plenty of Bobbys! - I bet your actually named after Bobby Ewing from Dallas.

Your question to Mad Bob irritates me. It irritates me that you are even questioning my morals so that i would kill your teacher.

She (albiet FAT) is your teacher because she has worked hard, is qualified and is older and more dignified than you. Take my advice Bobby, concentrate on what she has to teach you, and less on what you would like to do to her.

Yet another stupid question

bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!!

MAD BOB

Little Bird · 11-16-2005, 12:20 PM

Thanks Bob. Where would I be without your wisdom?

I've got another one! Why does it take you so damn long to get back to anyone??? Sheesh! Is it asking tooo much?

Little Bird · 11-16-2005, 12:23 PM

Oh here's another one....if you really are MAD and indeed a BLOKE....then why are you smiling?

11-15-2005, 02:49 PM	#2
Eibhlin Oscillating Fan Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 2,044 Rep Power: 254	Bob, When are people in North Carolina going to grasp the concept of not driving slow in the passing lane??? IT DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYYYY! Andrea __________________ I'd like to call you my wild horse and feed you silver sage Andrea an eye for an eye makes the world blind

11-15-2005, 04:42 PM	#4
kjm030584 Moderator Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Pennsylvania, USA Posts: 1,843 Rep Power: 253	Bob, I'm really annoyed with my digestive system. Just when I think everything is going to be okay I find myself making a B-line for the toilet. Why won't the doctors just take my guts out?! __________________

11-15-2005, 08:33 PM	#6
Eibhlin Oscillating Fan Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 2,044 Rep Power: 254	well Bob, I don't have a pickup anymore, otherwise all the slow pokes would be run into the ditches...but moving on Why is it that once you have a van that runs good, the sliding door has to break so it won't stay shut and you have to bungee cord it closed to go pick your kids up at school???? __________________ I'd like to call you my wild horse and feed you silver sage Andrea an eye for an eye makes the world blind

11-15-2005, 09:21 PM	#7
Little Bird Administrator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wicklow, Ireland Posts: 6,178 Rep Power: 10	Mad bloke Bob. I get really mad at toll bridges and have often given the look of death to the toll bridge operators. Do you think they are evil...like I do? __________________ In the end...only kindness matters MysteriousWisdom

11-16-2005, 01:24 AM	#8
last_dance_rodeo Temporarily Absent Mod Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: South Dakota Posts: 2,212 Rep Power: 251	mad bloke bob, thank god you've came along. I have a dilemma and I hope you can help me. My question to you is why am I attracted to other men? __________________ Her face is moonworn and thin, she's been wishing on too many stars again.

11-15-2005, 10:19 AM	#1
bob Members Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 36 Rep Power: 235	Hi my names BOB! - Ive been assigned by the JKF to help you have a better day. You can call me MAD BOB Its simple, you tell me what drives you mad about stuff like too much traffic, the national health service, taxes etc etc. I will come up with an answer everytime. There ya go, ask away..................

11-15-2005, 03:34 PM	#3
bob Members Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 36 Rep Power: 235	Andrea This is a problem caused by YOU!! YOU are asuming that they are going slow, but actually you are going too fast yourself. Slow down or you will give yourself a hernia. Put yourself in there shoes, they are going as fast as they need to go to get where they want to go, in the time that they want. Just because you and your stupid pickup truck dont think its fast enough!. bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!! MAD BOB

11-15-2005, 06:40 PM	#5
bob Members Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 36 Rep Power: 235	Kyle - your whats known in the trade as a 'toilet hogger' Just stop eating - its simple really. Only stop eating when you no longer can see your own feet. That way your digestive system will sort its self out. If that dosent work eat plenty of Big Macs Supersized as they will quickly sort out your digestive system and give it all a damn good flushing! Take my advice and you will have no freinds anyway, so that way you dont ever need to worry about it. you people worry too much. bluuuuuuuughhhh!! Next question !!!! MAD BOB

11-16-2005, 06:07 AM	#9
WhatWouldJewelDo Members Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Thousand Oaks, CA Posts: 507 Rep Power: 0	Bob, you stole half my name. CHEAP. Not kewel. Not kewel at all. Uhm... my question is..... How much do you want to kill my english teacher.... she's a uhm.... a bigger lady, so she wont run fast. What are we talking?? hundreds?? thousands?? Let me know. ;) __________________ <span style=\'font-family:Courier\'><span style=\'font-size:8pt;line-height:100%\'><span style=\'color:yellow\'> how 'bout stopping eating when I'm full up how 'bout me not blaming you for everything how 'bout me enjoying the moment for once how 'bout unabashedly bawling your eyes out thank you India thank you terror thank you disillusionment thank you nothingness thank you clarity thank you thank you silence</span></span></span>

11-16-2005, 12:20 PM	#14
Little Bird Administrator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wicklow, Ireland Posts: 6,178 Rep Power: 10	Thanks Bob. Where would I be without your wisdom? I've got another one! Why does it take you so damn long to get back to anyone??? Sheesh! Is it asking tooo much? __________________ In the end...only kindness matters MysteriousWisdom

11-16-2005, 12:23 PM	#15
Little Bird Administrator Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Wicklow, Ireland Posts: 6,178 Rep Power: 10	Oh here's another one....if you really are MAD and indeed a BLOKE....then why are you smiling? __________________ In the end...only kindness matters MysteriousWisdom