The Kilcherian Soap Opera Thread

[Intrepid Prez]

Fellow Kilcherians

The Kilcherian Soap Opera: Episode 1

(moved from the locked thread)

Yeah... the original plot :

Where is Kowa ??? Has he been kidnapped by a Jewel-site competitor ???
Why has Mike got a fetish for Jewel's tits... and everyone else's tit's ???
Will Kiera always be drunk with power or will she attend counseling ???
Will Craig stop flying into violent fits of rage every time someone criticizes Jewel ???
When will Michael, the resident fruit-loop psycho, ever stop stalking Jewel ???
Will lonelylullaby & Eibhlin ever control their jealously of Shakira's hair ???
Will LordAssMonkey ever lift his boycott on the ASPCJ ???
Will Lissa ever take the forum rabbit to the vet to fix his middle ear infection ???
What evil conspiracy will be revealed for the removal of the bunny from the forum banner ???
Will our melodramatic Princess Tracy take out the award for 'Best Drama Queen' ???
Will Dave hold another competition for unappreciative Kilcherians or has he learned his lesson ???

Will there ever be an end to the Prez's astonishing intrepidness ???


And ... who is Jewel anyway... and who really cares anymore ????


Stay Tuned !!!

[Intrepid Prez]

The Kilcherian Soap Opera: Episode 2

"Aghr?:angry: I don't even like Shakira's hair" (Lonelylullaby)
So... will Lonelylullaby & Eibhlin ever control their jealousy of Shakira's hair ???
Umm... obviously not... the jealousy is even more intense.
You really should seek counceling, Lonelylullaby... ya just gotta get out of denial.


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v717/jewelfan33/11000.jpg


I think you might be right about Shakira's roots though.
If you concentrate and look really close...
it just might be possible to detect some natural growth.
But you gotta turn up the brightness on your monitor of course...
and use a magnifying glass.

I will never lift my boycott against the Aspcj. Or will I ??? (LordAssMonkey)
I gotta fess up here, Lord Ass, your steadfast boycott against the ASPCJ worked...
the ASPCJ is stuffed. You can now tell all your friends how you single-handedly
brought down the ASPCJ Mk IV. We gotta cut some sorta deal if there's ever
gonna be an ASPCJ Mk V.

I spend very little time contemplating Jewel's boobs at all. (Mike)
*** The whole forum simultainiously burst out laughing ***

Do you have a car Mike ???
Coz if you do... can you pick up Lonelylullaby on your way to group denial theropy?

And...

Is Kiera still drunk with power ???

Innnnnnnnnnnnntoxicated !!!

So... will Lord Ass sell out (re 0304) and cut a deal with the Prez ???
And... will Mike divorce his loyal wife for a busty playboy centerfold ???
Will Lonelylullaby finally tell her hairdresser she'd like the 'Shakira Look' ???
Was Kiera Bird really spotted moonlighting as a mean leather-clad dominatrix ???
And... why did the resident fruit-loop psycho buy himself a new axe ???
Is Angel Eyes happier now she's a mod in the Kelly Rowland forum ???
Will the Prez finally stop 'pissing about' with his 'misplaced banter' ???
And... does the vet have a middle ear infection therefore he's too ill to fix the rabbit ???

To find out who's got the key to the mysterious locked thread, you gotta:

Stayed tuned for Episode 3 of: The Kilcherian Soap Opera


Easy... ;)

[Eibhlin]

:P you know, i suppose to be jealous of shakira's hair, i would have to like it first, it looks like she needs to give the hair dryer a rest and let her strands recoop, and if i wanted the dark roots thing going on, well a box of hair coloring is less than 10 bucks, so all in all the shakira look is pretty cheap to achieve...

gives justin a look of disdain worthy of any cheesy soap opera, for good measure feigns raising hand to him...HOW DARE YOU IMPLY I AM JEALOUS! you!

[Intrepid Prez]

*** No longer able to contend with Eibhlin's contemptuous jealousy,
the Prez grabs the resident psycho's new axe and chases her around the forum. ***

:angry:


?...God views all of his creations as beautiful and God loves all of us equally...
the only exception being Shakira... that's why He blessed her with stunningly lovely hair.?

?Brandon Graves, Waterdeep

[lordassmonkey]

Yes. I will be bragging about how I brought down the Aspcj for years.
I should be honored on the Aspcj site but lets not get carried away.
Besides you would have to get a really good picture of me.
It is hard looking as good as jewel.
I wouldn't consider it selling out. It would be more like an extension of my creativity.
After all i would just be having a little fun

[Veilingmeat]

Originally posted by Eibhlin@Jun 25 2005, 01:07 AM
so all in all the shakira look is pretty cheap to achieve...



So that must be why she was classed as copying titney sphere's...*sorry* britney spears! ...another cheap look :P :lol:

[kjm030584]

LMFFAO :lol: :lol:

[MrCC]

Fellow Kilcherians

The Kilcherian Soap Opera: Episode 1

(moved from the locked thread)

Wow. The thread was locked. Amazing, but I was done with it anyway.

Yeah... the original plot :

Where is Kowa ??? Has he been kidnapped by a Jewel-site competitor ???

I was wondering that myself. His site is still operating and looks as good as ever. Nice job Kowa, wherever you are.

Why has Mike got a fetish for Jewel's tits... and everyone else's tit's ???

Read what I said over here in the I'm Done (http://s3.invisionfree.com/Jewel_Kilcher_Forum/index.php?showtopic=299) thread. I'm done in that thread, but my comments are posted over there if you are interested. I didn't realize it was the non-boob thread when I posted there, but now I've been invormed and won't make the mistake of posting anything about them there again. I mean I wouldn't even is it were not locked. B)

Will Kiera always be drunk with power or will she attend counseling ???

No comment.

Will Craig stop flying into violent fits of rage every time someone criticizes Jewel ???

Only if it will get under Justin's skin.

When will Michael, the resident fruit-loop psycho, ever stop stalking Jewel ???

I hope not. I think that's the real reason why she tours to stay one step ahead of the stalkers.

Will lonelylullaby & Eibhlin ever control their jealously of Shakira's hair ???

Hair today, gone tomorrow. Maybe Shakira will start hawking hair products like Jewel and then we can all read the forums about how she sold out. Won?t THAT be exciting. Not.

Will LordA**Monkey ever lift his boycott on the ASPCJ ???

Not until Justin takes back what you said about monkeys.

Will Lissa ever take the forum rabbit to the vet to fix his middle ear infection ???

Hey where is Lissa anyway? Has she even posted two posts in the last 6 months? You may have to dock her moderator salary in half - she's MIA. I?m guessing she?d be up to her armpits in rabbits except that she turned them into rabbit eunuchs.

What evil conspiracy will be revealed for the removal of the bunny from the forum banner ???

I believe, but cannot prove that it was a shady organization that sells black market armbands made by Chinese prisoners with the logo "One." They want to take over the world one arm at a time.

Will our melodramatic Princess Tracy take out the award for 'Best Drama Queen' ???

I think Kiera has also received a nomination. Again no comment. I hope Tracy finds it in herself to come back. I still do not understand the argument, but if it was about anything we discuss in the Jewel forums it's not really worth getting to upset over. Jewel forums should be places where we can share our views and when we disagree we move on and let it go. I can't picture anybody getting so upset at another member to leave for good, but that's just me. C'est la vie.

Will Dave hold another competition for unappreciative Kilcherians or has he learned his lesson ???

Apparently Dave was not aware that the only real Jewel fans left are posting here in this forum. All six of us. Not to say that Jewel can't win back a good portion of her fan base if she releases a good album. Even a bad album at this point would generate more publicity than she's been getting for the last year. These two to three year gaps between albums are making we who post in the forums hungry for some kind of release.

At least she is touring. Get this - they are selling T-shirts that say "The Tour For No Reason." Cute, but I can think of a reason. How about the "Quench Your Thirsty Fan base Tour" or the "I'm Bored Staying at Home Tour" or the "I'm Taking George For a Walk Tour" or "I Hope I Make A Bucket of Money Tour"?

Anyway Dave. Thanks for the contest. That was truly nice of you to sponsor a contest. I hope you can publish excerpts of some of the winning entries with permission of course. I'd like to hear what people said. It was a truly a good idea. I'm sorry the response was not huge. I think at this point Jewel's fan base is at a bit of a low point. Not that Jewel has done anything really wrong. It'll get better when the new album comes out.

Will there ever be an end to the Prez's astonishing intrepidness ???

Only when Justin starts to believe that he is "Formerly Known as Intrepid" will his reign come to an end. By definition if he ever was intrepid he will remain so until he drives his sports car off the edge of a mountain road racing to meet Jewel at a meet and greet. Rumour is that less people would attend his funeral than bought 0304. That's two less than entered Dave's wonderful contest.

And ... who is Jewel anyway... and who really cares anymore ????

Who is Jewel?
Steve Poltz's old girlfriend.
Another homeless woman who parked her VW in San Diego for a season.
A razor saleswoman.
A woman who just checked herself into the Imelda Marcos?s Shoppers Retreat For Shopping Addiction. Apparently, 900 handbags is just a few too many. Who knew?

Who cares?
I do. And some of you too.

Stay Tuned !!!

Thanks for posting a thread to put all this misplaced banter. I look forward to hearing from everybody. And I do mean everybody.

[michaelsjewel]

what...i bought myself a new axe? - i'm totally clueless of my own life i take it then - don't recall :o :huh: :unsure:

[MrCC]

Originally posted by michaelsjewel@Jun 24 2005, 11:25 PM
what...i bought myself a new axe? - i'm totally clueless of my own life i take it then - don't recall :o :huh: :unsure:
Is that really an axe or are you more of a hatchet man? :P ;)

[kjm030584]

*likes where this conversation is going*

[LonelyLullaby]

You really should seek counceling, Lonelylullaby... ya just gotta get out of denial

:) Okay if you suggest it Justin- I will
And Mike please pick me up in your car ;) *bats her eyelashes*

[michaelsjewel]

Originally posted by MrCC@Jun 25 2005, 12:50 AM
Is that really an axe or are you more of a hatchet man? :P ;)
i think you guys got the wrong person - just because i said it was wrong forum doesn't mean i had bought an axe to go after intrepid - that's just - CRUEL - there are much better ways of settling these types of things - right little_bird? by moving the thread :lol:

[Eibhlin]

QUOTE (MrCC @ Jun 25 2005, 12:50 AM)
Is that really an axe or are you more of a hatchet man?


i think you guys got the wrong person - just because i said it was wrong forum doesn't mean i had bought an axe to go after intrepid - that's just - CRUEL - there are much better ways of settling these types of things - right little_bird? by moving the thread



:omg: this must mean only one thing...MICHEAL HAS A SPLIT PERSONALITY!!! he doesn't recall these murderous intents, because MICHEAL didn't do it...it was the other one!

:gve:

micheal vs. evil micheal

this is cause for fear and concern...and adds drama to the kilcherian soap!

[MrCC]

Psycho Michael took and axe
Gave his mother 40 whacks,
When he saw what he had done
He gave Intrepid 41.

Just kidding Michael. This thread just started reminding me of that old Lizzie Borden poem. Somewhere this thread took a wrong turn.

[WhatWouldJewelDo]

hahaha.... WAIT!! why am i not in any of the Kilcherian Soap Opera episodes??? I cause the *most* drama in this forum and Im the only one with warnings (i never knew i would be remotely proud of that):huh:

THATS IT!!! if im not in the next episode, i will..... swin to australia and burn dow ASPCJ's headquarters!!!!! that'll teach you! :P

[MrCC]

Uh oh. You better beef up security around the perimeter of the ASPCJ compound, Justin.

[Intrepid Prez]

The Kilcherian Soap Opera: Episode 3

Congratulations were in order to Mike !!!

He had won the award for: 'Most Diplomatic Post' for his tactful answer to this question:

"Will Kiera always be drunk with power or will she attend counseling ???"

And... Mike's calmly considered answer was: "No comment."

This diplomatic gesture will undoubtedly help to calm frazzled nerves and
defuse further emotional outbursts. After all, that's exactly why the
'Kilcherian Soap Opera' had to be salvaged from the uncontrollable,
legendary 'LOCKED THREAD'.

This long overdue demonstration of respect for authority might encourages a closer
relationship between forum members and the mods who, after all, are only trying
to provide a friendly atmosphere where Jewel-fans can share love for our beloved Jewel.

Congratulations again Mike !!!

This post was so impressive, it also won a second award !!!
It won the former Prezident of the ASPCJ's award for:

'The Most Gutless Post I've Ever Seen in My Intrepid F***ing Life' award.

CONGRATULATIONS MIKE !!!


And... congratulations were in order too for... the stunningly gorgeous LonelyLullaby
who, fresh out of denial, looked absolutely sensational sporting her new 'Shakira Look' !!!
Picture perfect... even down to the dark roots !!!


Now... Kilcherians ponder these new intriguing questions:

In 25,000 years from now will archeologists uncover the LOCKED THREAD and endeavor
to unravels the mysteries within the Da Vinci Banter???

Or... will the Catholic Church conspire to cover up all evidence of Kiera's LOCKED THREAD.

Therefore... will Dan Brown's descendants expose this evil conspiracy...
and discover that Kiera is a descendant from the bloodline of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene ???


And... even further mysteries to ponder:

Is the triumphant Lord Ass now planning to launch the
'American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Jewel' ???
And... will the Prezident (Formerly Known as Intrepid) boycott it ???

Will Mike stop leering at LonelyLullaby's tits long enough to see her flirtatious batting eyelashes ???

Which one of the two Michaels owns the axe ???

Will a Veilingmeat post ever make any sense ???

Why is kjm030584 contiually L(his)FAO ???

And... has WhatWouldJewelDo had enough "warnings" to warrant his smug boasting ???

Can his warnings/hate-mail/boycotts/hate-threads/snotty-guestbook-messages/whatever
even begin to match up to those of the former ASPCJ ???

btw... don't forget, this month only:

Madame Kiera is offering 15% off (forum members only) for a private session at:
Kinky Kiera's Kastle Of Kruelty'.


Stay tune for episode 4 of: The Kilcherian Soap Opera


*** Atlantic News Flash - Atlantic News Flash - Atlantic News Flash ***

SPECIAL OFFER !!! 50% off the marked price of Jewel's albums is currently being offered to Oompa Loompas.

[LonelyLullaby]

:lol: well thanks

[Veilingmeat]

...and veilingmeats posts will continue to make no sense whatsoever!!!!

Theophilus Thistle the succesful thistle sifter, when sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of his thumb.
"It's all eggs,bacon,beans and a fried slice"

Madness....don't quote me on that :blink:

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Intrepid Prez@Jun 27 2005, 03:33 AM
The Kilcherian Soap Opera: Episode 3

Congratulations were in order to Mike !!!

He had won the award for: 'Most Diplomatic Post' for his tactful answer to this question:

"Will Kiera always be drunk with power or will she attend counseling ???"

And... Mike's calmly considered answer was: "No comment."

This diplomatic gesture will undoubtedly help to calm frazzled nerves and
defuse further emotional outbursts. After all, that's exactly why the
'Kilcherian Soap Opera' had to be salvaged from the uncontrollable,
legendary 'LOCKED THREAD'.

This long overdue demonstration of respect for authority might encourages a closer
relationship between forum members and the mods who, after all, are only trying
to provide a friendly atmosphere where Jewel-fans can share love for our beloved Jewel.

Congratulations again Mike !!!

This post was so impressive, it also won a second award !!!
It won the former Prezident of the ASPCJ's award for:

'The Most Gutless Post I've Ever Seen in My Intrepid F***ing Life' award.

CONGRATULATIONS MIKE !!!


And... congratulations were in order too for... the stunningly gorgeous LonelyLullaby
who, fresh out of denial, looked absolutely sensational sporting her new 'Shakira Look' !!!
Picture perfect... even down to the dark roots !!!


Now... Kilcherians ponder these new intriguing questions:

In 25,000 years from now will archeologists uncover the LOCKED THREAD and endeavor
to unravels the mysteries within the Da Vinci Banter???

Or... will the Catholic Church conspire to cover up all evidence of Kiera's LOCKED THREAD.

Therefore... will Dan Brown's descendants expose this evil conspiracy...
and discover that Kiera is a descendant from the bloodline of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene ???


And... even further mysteries to ponder:

Is the triumphant Lord Ass now planning to launch the
'American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Jewel' ???
And... will the Prezident (Formerly Known as Intrepid) boycott it ???

Will Mike stop leering at LonelyLullaby's tits long enough to see her flirtatious batting eyelashes ???

Which one of the two Michaels owns the axe ???

Will a Veilingmeat post ever make any sense ???

Why is kjm030584 contiually L(his)FAO ???

And... has WhatWouldJewelDo had enough "warnings" to warrant his smug boasting ???

Can his warnings/hate-mail/boycotts/hate-threads/snotty-guestbook-messages/whatever
even begin to match up to those of the former ASPCJ ???

btw... don't forget, this month only:

Madame Kiera is offering 15% off (forum members only) for a private session at:
Kinky Kiera's Kastle Of Kruelty'.


Stay tune for episode 4 of: The Kilcherian Soap Opera


*** Atlantic News Flash - Atlantic News Flash - Atlantic News Flash ***

SPECIAL OFFER !!! 50% off the marked price of Jewel's albums is currently being offered to Oompa Loompas.
I never stare. I glance.

You're just lucky I'm so diplomatic. Without my efforts to water down your touble-making you would be in big trouble. Oh, wait. You still are. Oh well I guess all my diplomacy has been wasted.

KJM should be careful with all that LMAO. He might end up with no A at all. He could go from J Lo to J No Mo.

Kinky Kiera's Kastle Of Kruelty? Wow. Those British Islanders are into some strange things. ;) Is that an online forum or a store? If it's a store my advice is simple. Never buy kinky products that customers have returned no matter how much they take off the price. You just never know where they've been.

Hey speaking of an American ASPCJ I noticed one the other day it was The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Jeeps.

I'm was sure there was some Da Vinci code in your post. I ran it through the Babblefish translator and I came up with this revelation.

"The Cruelty Preventor Justin will P*ss everyone off and enjoy it."

[Eibhlin]

Hey speaking of an American ASPCJ I noticed one the other day it was The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Jeeps.

:P down with the ASPCJ, Jeeps deserve all the crap they get, i am considering making a sticker with someone holding a wrench and a shotgun saying "IT"S A JEEP THING, YOU DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND"

as for Veilingmeats posts, what exactly is in that cigarette you are smoking? i am sure they make sense to the oompa-loompas :P

[WhatWouldJewelDo]

And... has WhatWouldJewelDo had enough "warnings" to warrant his smug boasting ???

Can his warnings/hate-mail/boycotts/hate-threads/snotty-guestbook-messages/whatever
even begin to match up to those of the former ASPCJ ???


OMFG, i totally forgot about the guestbook message i left you like 10 million years ago.


P.S. dont worry about the security, i wont have to burn down ASPCJ *eye twitch*

[LonelyLullaby]

I never stare. I glance.

Well keep glancing ;)

[Little Bird]

Originally posted by MrCC@Jun 27 2005, 09:29 PM
Those British Islanders are into some strange things.
I'll have you know that I am Irish, not British! Hence 'Republic' that comes before 'of Ireland'

[MrCC]

Originally posted by little_bird@Jun 28 2005, 03:01 PM
I'll have you know that I am Irish, not British! Hence 'Republic' that comes before 'of Ireland'
Heck, from where I'm sitting all you Europeans look alike. Parlez vous Francais? ;) Kinky Kiera's Kastle of Kruelty now with convenient locations throughout the beautiful Republic of Ireland. Please don't beat me, Mistress Kiera. ;) :P

[lordassmonkey]

:mooner: If I started the American Version I don't know if it would be nearley as WONDERFUL as the Asutrialn version. I don't know how I could compete...

[michaelsjewel]

Originally posted by lordassmonkey@Jun 28 2005, 04:42 PM
:mooner: If I started the American Version I don't know if it would be nearley as WONDERFUL as the Asutrialn version. I don't know how I could compete...
well all u would have to do is - start out preventing cruelty - then start bashing jewel left and right - it'd make for great comedy like the ASPCJ - lol...wait they would would have the same initials - lol...nevermind :rolleyes:

[lordassmonkey]

Not entirely it could be like.
USSPCJ
NASPCJ

Or i could just start a small local chapter.
PENNYSLVANIA Version.

He may of tried to use his cheap tactics to promote the ASPCJ in Austriia by using an American version with the same intials.

It was a damn good effort so congratulations. We will see what happens

[Intrepid Prez]

No Mike...

the Brits and the Irish might look the same from where you sit...
but there are definate cultural difference.

The Brits teach their kids fruit-mince pie recipies
and how to put a train set together...

while the Irish teach their kids molotov cocktail recipies
and how to put an AK-47 assault rifle together.


Easy... ;)

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Intrepid Prez@Jun 28 2005, 06:41 PM
No Mike...

the Brits and the Irish might look the same from where you sit...
but there are definate cultural difference.

The Brits teach their kids fruit-mince pie recipies
and how to put a train set together...

while the Irish teach their kids molotov cocktail recipies
and how to put an AK-47 assault rifle together.


Easy... ;)
Ouch.

Most of us also have trouble telling Australians from New Zealanders apart. The main difference is New Zealanders will tell the tourists to stay out of the Shark infested water while the Australians encourage people to get real close to the Crocodiles. Cultural difference. Like you said. ;) :blink:

[MrCC]

Originally posted by lordassmonkey@Jun 28 2005, 06:37 PM
Not entirely it could be like.
USSPCJ
NASPCJ

Or i could just start a small local chapter.
PENNYSLVANIA Version.

He may of tried to use his cheap tactics to promote the ASPCJ in Austriia by using an American version with the same intials.

It was a damn good effort so congratulations. We will see what happens

Justin use cheesy promotion? Say it isn't so!

Kelly Rowland Rules (http://www.geocities.com/kellyrowlandrules/)

ASPCJ Rules! (http://www.geocities.com/jewel_australia/index.html)

[Little Bird]

Quit the Kastle of Kruelty thing. I don't find it funny. It wasn't posted to be funny but as a stab at me so please, let it be the end of it.

[Intrepid Prez]

It wasn't posted to be funny but as a stab at me

No its wasn't...

Its fruit-loop stuff...
like LonlyLulaby looking like Shikira...
like Lord Ass setting up an ASPCJ...
like the LOCKED THREAD being covered up by a Catholic conspiracy...
like the rest of this fruit-loop soap opera... how absurd is it ???

Mike's right... humor and fruit-loop nonsense is the best way sort out stuff...
anyway... its the only way I know how to do it.


You know my email address... I dont like PMs...
better still... bring it out in this thread...
it'll be great stuff for the soap opera...

almost like reality TV. ;)

[Eibhlin]

so this is going from soap opera to reality tv eh? hmm, lemme see, so we will have to nominate a bachelor or bachelorette then compete for his/her hand in marriage plus a million bucks by eating revolting things and doing death defying tests, shamelessly flaunting their bodies in the kilcherian mansions hot tub, then once a contestant has won, further testing their commitment to each other by throwing them on adultery-erm-temptation- island, and the kicker is, they don't win a million bucks but a million bugs...

[Veilingmeat]

Originally posted by Intrepid Prez@Jun 29 2005, 02:41 AM
The Brits teach their kids fruit-mince pie recipies
and how to put a train set together...




Ehhh??? where'de you hear that cobber?
Us lousy brits dont know how to make a fruit-mince pie,us jolly ol boys live for traditional old gentry in the old domain...where we are brought up to given the proper lessons on how to make a true cup of tea!
...and train sets...pah! i'll hear none of it,considering we invevted the train and ours are ALWAYS late!,the only thing kids are good at putting together here is organised crime!

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Intrepid Prez@Jun 29 2005, 05:23 AM
humor and fruit-loop nonsense is the best way sort out stuff...
anyway... its the only way I know how to do it.

Same here.

[Veilingmeat]

...i tell ya what would make good reality tv,give each person a machine gun,panzerfaust,hand grenade's,flame thrower........and let them hunt each other down!!! till death.
and the winner gets crucified,or even sicker...a battery acid enema! lets face it sooooo many people would really love to watch stuff like that....we need tv like this nowadays coz we've all gone too soft in the mind! and yesssss!!! Eibhlin we also need BUGS!!! lots of bugs :devil1:

[lordassmonkey]

I need a love thing going on here.
Yes the ASPCJ IS ALL MINE
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!
:bananarock:

YEAH I kick A$$.

:agree:

[Veilingmeat]

as for Veilingmeats posts, what exactly is in that cigarette you are smoking? i am sure they make sense to the oompa-loompas :P

lol,that was only a Marlboro Light....*honest* that photo was taken after about 16 bottles of Becks Beer :o somewhere in London at my ex-girlfriends party! soon after spotting a giant beer thirsty monster (Beerzilla) on the horizon!!!

[Eibhlin]

i sense a new power crazed kilcherian dictator on the rising by the name of shawn! lol! instead of being force read jewel's poetry, what will the new punishment be for jewel bashers?

so veilingmeat, have you ever watched natural born killers? (was my favorite severalyears ago) because if you havent, i have a feeling you may like it, plenty of murder and gore for ya, i dont watch that type of stuff much now
well, i do still like the Godfather...thats a weakness of mine, mob movies

[Veilingmeat]

Yeah iv seen 'Natural Born killers' not a bad film i'll say,and theres another kinda like it called 'Battle Royal' its Japanese,about jap student criminals on an island and there all given a certain weapon to survive and are told to go out and kill each other...the winner gets freedom but thats not the case!!!
brilliant film!
...and as for mob movies there just as good for violence etc,'Casino','Good Fellas' and so on :D

[Eibhlin]

ummm, i think we are drifting :offtopic: so let's integrate this into the soap opera thread...

shawn is now plotting to take command of a newer ASPCJ, but is it really a cover for some more evil plot?

is veilingmeats obsession with death and war going to lead to a kidnapping and ransom attempt on shawn, the newest dictator? and will he attempt to brainwash us all with his own form of propaganda and ship us off to some island to live out his automaitc weapon riddled reality show, where the last one standing gets thrown into a pit of scarabs and other vile bugs?

[lordassmonkey]

Nobobdy knows what I have up my sleeve :devil1:

[Veilingmeat]

.......and nobody knows what iv got down my trousers :P :lol:

A biiiiiiiiiig.............Panzershrek!!!!

[Eibhlin]

Nobobdy knows what I have up my sleeve

could it be your evil kilcherian armies?

(sorry it brought to mind...where do the french keep their armies...in their sleevies)

:P @meat, nice trouser recovery, what in the world is a panzershrek?

[Veilingmeat]

Pah!!! and to think i spelt it wrong! i'll make this short and simple as to not once again drift off topic :P

http://homepage.tinet.ie/~nightingale/graphics/panzerschreck1.jpg
A "Panzerschrek" German Anti-Tank Bazooka

...and i have plenty of other weapons MWAHAAAHAHAHAAA! :muhaha: i feel a siege comin on! First stop...the frenchie's up there sleevie's :P

[Eibhlin]

:o dont you know not to reveal your targets! now shawn can put on a sleeveless and you will have nowhere to invade!

thats a big gun, i hope you wear baggy trousers, and thats far enough for that line of talk

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Veilingmeat@Jul 1 2005, 07:39 AM
Pah!!! and to think i spelt it wrong! i'll make this short and simple as to not once again drift off topic :P

http://homepage.tinet.ie/~nightingale/graphics/panzerschreck1.jpg
A "Panzerschrek" German Anti-Tank Bazooka

...and i have plenty of other weapons MWAHAAAHAHAHAAA! :muhaha: i feel a siege comin on! First stop...the frenchie's up there sleevie's :P
To me it seems near impossible to drift off topic in a thread that is loosely defined as a soap opera. Seems to me that as long as it's Jewel fans talking about what interests them then it's a Kilcherian Soap Opera. Then again talking about the german bakooka in your pants might just go over the line. And BTW that's the worst pick up line I've ever heard. Have you had much luck with that one? ;)

[Veilingmeat]

Originally posted by MrCC@Jul 1 2005, 05:07 PM
And BTW that's the worst pick up line I've ever heard. Have you had much luck with that one? ;)
lol...cant say i have mate,dont think the german ladie's or any for that matter would respond in kind to a chat up line of such cheese like that :lol:

[Eibhlin]

hmm, i know now how v.m. will choose the contestants for his jungle warfare reality show...he will prowl the local pubs, subjecting hapless ladies to his really cheesy (stinky like bleu cheese) come on lines...those who are drunk enough to fall for it are spared, while those who reject him...are thrown on....DEATH GAME ISLAND!!!! BWAH HA HA HA!!!! :tmbup: :muhaha:

[damnthatnicole]

OH WOW!! This looks like a fun topic. I remember the Aspcj I was on the old Jewel Message board helping in the boycott.

[MrCC]

Originally posted by damnthatnicole@Jul 1 2005, 08:09 PM
OH WOW!! This looks like a fun topic. I remember the Aspcj I was on the old Jewel Message board helping in the boycott.
Some say more fun than a barrel of monkeys. ;) :dunno: :tmbup2: :bang: :redface: :mooner: :muhaha: ;) :o

[Intrepid Prez]

OH WOW!! This looks like a fun topic. I remember the Aspcj I was on the old Jewel Message board helping in the boycott. (damnthatnicole)

Yeah, damnthatnicole,.... sadly, most members were. :(

btw... is that Nicole Kidman in your cyber-name or your ex-girlfriend. :unsure:


btw again Kilcherians...
Episode IV of the Kilcherian Soap Opera comming up soon. :)


Promise I'll fit you in somewhere, damnthatnicole...
so... stay tuned.


Easy... ;)

[lordassmonkey]

Nicole is her name
It was an ongoing thing over at the assmonkey's world message board
2 common sayings everyone said was "we still love you mike" and "damn that nicole it's her fault"

[Veilingmeat]

Originally posted by MrCC@Jul 2 2005, 07:48 AM
Some say more fun than a barrel of monkeys.? ;) :dunno:? :tmbup2:? :bang:? :redface:? :mooner:? :muhaha:? ;)? :o
Mike you forgot to put the stupid joke bunny in :bunny:

.....and why the hell is he still here???????? oi mods....kill that bunny,once and for all

[Little Bird]

Well Dave brought in the Bunny. I don't think he can bring himself to kill it off but it is his job to do should he decide.

He's quite attached to it ya know

[Veilingmeat]

Mr Bunny deserves no respect :P he only deserves death *veilingmeat says :tmbdn: to the bunny* ...well as an example Miami Beach is where neon goes to die,and this forum is where bunnys go to die!!! lol

..........DAVE my good fellow....nudge,nudge...wink,wink :tmbup2: ;) ol pal ol buddy!!!

[Eibhlin]

:o what did that poor liddle ole bunny ever do to you!!???!!! i say we should put a little tiny veilingmeat head under the bunny's foot so bunny can crush his head!! :muhaha: (thats my new favorite smilie)

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Veilingmeat@Jul 2 2005, 09:22 PM
Mike you forgot to put the stupid joke bunny in :bunny:

.....and why the hell is he still here???????? oi mods....kill that bunny,once and for all
Hey I hope Lissa doesn't hear you talking about bunnycide. That's a big no no around here.

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Eibhlin@Jul 3 2005, 03:23 PM
:o what did that poor liddle ole bunny ever do to you!!???!!!? i say we should put a little tiny veilingmeat head under the bunny's foot so bunny can crush his head!! :muhaha: (thats my new favorite smilie)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v670/jewelkilcher/bunny_thumping_foot_hr.jpg

You mess with the bunny and his big brother will take care of you.

[bluediamond]

'JayKay' the bunny STAYS!

In fact, her first offspring have had more bunnies, so look out, they may be coming near a Forum soon.

:lalala:
Dave.

[Veilingmeat]

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo :o

[Veilingmeat]

Originally posted by MrCC@Jul 4 2005, 03:33 AM
Hey I hope Lissa doesn't hear you talking about bunnycide. That's a big no no around here.
Oi yer right.....i just looked....says she likes bunnys :mellow: :lol:

Anyhow,enough of the bunny thing...i just thought id try....and kill it off!!! :P

[Eibhlin]

well, its like this buddy boy--dont mess with the bunny boy! :P :gnash: :bunnyjump: :bunnyjump: :bunny:

[Veilingmeat]

and to think i'v brought life back into that old bunny....anyone remember the rubbish old kids programm Wizbit?
http://www.crackout.com/images/bios-nick-wizbit.jpg

another annoying bunny on there that does this wierd village people type dance!
freeky!!! :blink:

[Little Bird]

Originally posted by Veilingmeat@Jul 4 2005, 06:36 PM
and to think i'v brought life back into that old bunny....anyone remember the rubbish old kids programm Wizbit?


another annoying bunny on there that does this wierd village people type dance!
freeky!!!? :blink:
OMG! It's amazing what the mind surpresses! I had COMPLETELY forgotten that show til you put up that pic. Wizbit ... WOW, the memories! Oh and I have just remembered the dance. I wanna see a show now just to take me back just for a moment. And the theme tune....Ha Ha thisaway, Ha Ha thataway bla bla bla.

http://www.80snostalgia.com/classictv/wizbit/pic1.jpg

[Eibhlin]

sounds like another wierd british show to me ;) like teletubbies :P :agree:

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Eibhlin@Jul 4 2005, 12:28 PM
sounds like another wierd british show to me ;) like teletubbies :P :agree:
Yea, teletubbies is as weird as it gets.

again again

Yea, teletubbies is as weird as it gets.

[Little Bird]

Originally posted by Eibhlin@Jul 4 2005, 08:28 PM
sounds like another wierd british show to me ;) like teletubbies :P :agree:
Oh it was. There is a magician in the UK called Paul Daniels who was a lot more popular in the 70's & 80's and he was behind this show. I remember it so well now that all the memories are flooding back. I even remember the theme tune and now can't get it out of my head. It was about an '8ft' tall bunny rabbit that was a magician and he used to play magic tricks and show them to the cone person who I can't remember too much about except that he flew through the air. Oh my God I loved that show as a kid. I just had to ring my sister about it and within seconds, we were back to 1980something

[Veilingmeat]

Yup,a classic show it was eh! lmao!!!,and the bunnys name was 'Woolie'....its just i looked at that giant - big brother bunny and suddenly the mad veilingmeat mind thought of 'Wizbit'lol :P (since theres no ending to this bunny conversation) :lol:

......and as for the teletubbies :gnash: :redface: gaaahhh,the most annoying kids prog on this earth,with a rather gay tinkywinky with a handbag! and as you mentioned mike...the 'again,again' saying must bug the hell out of any parent who has children,and they keep saying that after theve just seen the poxy thing!

[Eibhlin]

ya, everytime the girls watch teletubbies (when i don't turn it off in time) it makes me imagine that it is really promoting acid dropping or something :P

[bluediamond]

http://www.bluediamonddesign.co.uk/tatoo.jpg

:lalala: wasn't anything to do with la la and po and tinky winky OK! lol

...honest.

[Eibhlin]

;) but it does inadvertently reference a song about one who walks like a woman and talks like a man :P so, whats the underlying reason for that one? :silly:

[MrCC]

Well in keeping with tradition this thread has covered much ground Here's my synopsis to bring us all up to date.

* Kilcherian Soap Opera Episode 1
* Shakira's Hair
* Talk of LordMonkey bringing the ASSPCJ down
* Titney Spheres
* Attempts by me to bring the thread back to the center of the discussion.
* Discussions of Axes, Hatchets, and other implements of destuction.
* Lonely batting her eyebrows and encouraging me to glance at her spheres.
* Michael denying that he enjoys axe murdering.
* Justin accusing me of high crimes and other acts of diplomacy.
* Jusin mentioning everybody so as to include all in this valuable discussion.
* Kastles are officially decreed as offensive, off topic, and a personal insult.
* Cheesy promotion.
* Fruit Loops and the virtues of humor.
* Cobbler and AK-47's.
* Bazookas in pants.
* Monkeys have more fun than this.
* Bunnies.
* Whizbit.
* Teletubbies.
* Tatoos.
* Dave likes to have tattoos and dress like a woman.

There you have it. The plot in a nutshell so far. Wow this is a great soap opera. I can't wait to see how it ends.

[Veilingmeat]

lmao! just shows the mentality of us all eh!

[MrCC]

Originally posted by Veilingmeat@Jul 6 2005, 02:26 PM
lmao! just shows the mentality of us all eh!
Yea, funny isn't it? :lol: :P ;)

[Eibhlin]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :clapjoy: too hilarious, i think somewhere along the line though we discovered that dave was also an oompa loompa in disguise,

so i guess that makes him an cross dressig tattooed oompa-loompa undercover

i think we really need a nice orange and green oompa-loompa smilie

[Veilingmeat]

lol... :P

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/onpc/oompa_loompa.jpg

...and dont you just love there hairstyles :lol: a kinda oompa loompa/snoop doggy dog type of mullet!

:bananarock: oompa loompa, doopity dey :bananarock: .....all together now (one of those annoying tunes you just cant get outta your head for hours)

[Eibhlin]

:lol: look, i think that is dave in the front ;)

oompa loompa doob i di doo, ive got another puzzle for you... :lalala:

[Veilingmeat]

LOL!!! and when/if i get a woman and get/if i get married, have/maybe have children...im gonna dress them up like that :P that IS the pure style of the future...lmao somehow i just know!

How cruel am i!!!!!!! :devil1:

[Eibhlin]

:o better watch someone doesnt turn you in for child cruelty :P :lol:
next you know you will be designing a line of avocado green baby leisure suits

oh, the humanity!!

[Veilingmeat]

Holy Smoke!!!! i'v just had a thought (what the hell did i use) i think im turning into a Michael Jackson !!!! :omg:
well not literaly...i hope, but the geek kids,the freaky clothes, next thing i know my nose will almost be falling off and i'll end up looking like a cacoony loony Gollum type thing!? :blink:

[Eibhlin]

:o :huh: oh man, then dont have kids, you may end up naming one of them...handkerchief, or pillow case!

now that you mention it, you do look a little splotchy...do you go around grabbing yourself and going "ooh" in a high pitch girly man voice?
or wearing your undies over your pants?

[Veilingmeat]

LMAO!!! yeah i dont look to great on that pic of mine i must admit!!! :lol:
thats prolly because i just thought i saw my future!....im actually saying something in that photo "i can see the future...holy s**t...its a ferret!!!!" and i go all white pale and splotchy and high pitched voiced!!! :unsure: scary

[Veilingmeat]

and GGAAAHHHHHH!!!!! THIS HEEEEEEVEN COMPUTER!!!!!! why is it sooooooo slow tonight....gah i hate this thing :compbash: :compbash: :compbash: how i'd love to rip this machines black heart out and eat it right now!!!!!! :gnash:

[Eibhlin]

:unsure: ahh, so now marc is not only an evil pro nazi dictator game show host, but he is now also morphing into a micheal jackson clone who sees ferrets in his future....
sounds like a smelly future!

hmm, you also appear to have it in for your computer, maybe you can do a hit on mine when you are done killing yours?

[Veilingmeat]

I guess yours is just as slow eh!? .....i think we both need new computers ay ;)

[Eibhlin]

veilingmeat and eibhlin have laid claim to the kilcherian soap opera thread! what will these evil dictators of the thread do next, after putting a serious hurt on their computers??!! can no one match our ability to aimlessly ramble about complete nonsense?? are we that intimidating?? or that annoying? should we devise a plan to overtake the JKF and drive everyone mad with aimless jabbering??!!!!!

we will soon see... :o

[Little Bird]

Originally posted by Veilingmeat@Jul 8 2005, 07:47 PM
and GGAAAHHHHHH!!!!! THIS HEEEEEEVEN COMPUTER!!!!!! why is it sooooooo slow tonight....gah i hate this thing :compbash: :compbash: :compbash: how i'd love to rip this machines black heart out and eat it right now!!!!!! :gnash:
Ya see...I knew that smillie would be very useful!

This is me in work most days :compbash: :compbash: :compbash:

[Eibhlin]

lol, that is me twiddling my thumbs waiting for my e-mail to load everyday! :compbash: :compbash: :compbash: :hammer: