View Full Version : The Monty Python Thread
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 08:50 PM
For all you Monty Python fans out there, feel like sharing your favourite Monty quote? Yes - then welcome to just the place to do that.
I feel Marc and I will be taking over this thread, Hee Hee but feel free to jump in.
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 08:53 PM
Albatross!!!
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 08:54 PM
Oh albatross I forgot that one
"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 08:55 PM
Funniest Joke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IysnS5wO60g
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 08:58 PM
Black Knight Star Wars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=leEsz9ci5XE
Veilingmeat
03-06-2007, 08:59 PM
HAHAAA....the Holy hand grenade of Antioch :laugh: and Tim the enchanter!!! lol
but let us not forget "I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...Dickus!"
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 09:04 PM
Oscar Wilde
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TywJ-htCzLo
The Spanish Inquisition
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO68fUMWx3g
I wanted to be a LumberJack!
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e70653bYXergdF
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 09:05 PM
And of course, the Ministry of Silly Walks deserves its own post!
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e70602Nf97eZJS
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 09:15 PM
Dead Parrot
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e70622xMMKheNg
Dirty Hungarian
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e73831brEmgNmH
the Village Idiot
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e79162TCfWyynz
Bruce
http://www.veoh.com/videos/e1117774a8kEg7Y
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 09:27 PM
Mattress sketch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGEeLtqtNvU
Most Awful Family in Britain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H5fQ32TTgcY
Restaurant Sketch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0Rzn4AXIfc
Mouse Problem
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihuv5z6nqWw
The Man with Three Buttocks
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_SAMDkUe5k
Eibhlin
03-06-2007, 09:28 PM
better yet here is the guys page that has a bunch of MP videos-lol
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=cleesefan
Veilingmeat
03-06-2007, 09:42 PM
rofl...some great vids there you found!!! unforgettable, lest we forget also....
"my good friend Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nurnburger- bratwustle- gernspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shonedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm"
and International Philosophy Football Match!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrShK-NVMIU
Argument Clinic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwEwLDR61bo
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 09:47 PM
Posting Videos is cheating Andrea...you're stealing all our quoting fun.
Now I'm going to sit on the top of the stairs and cry in front of the mirror screaming 'Nobody Loves me'
:lmao2:
Run Away, Run Away, Run Away....
Now get back to quoting or so help me, I will get the 'comfy pillow'
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 09:54 PM
This is my absolute favourite. I had to get the full thing off google coz it's so long but I piss myself laughing everytime I see it and now that I've read it....I piss myself laughing just reading it too. Though I do think it helps to read it with a yorkshire accent in mind.
Luxury!
Man#1 (Michael Palin) Aye! Very fussable, eh? Very fussable bit, that? eh?
Man#2 (Graham Chapman): Grand meal, that was, eh?
Others: Yes, wonderful, yes very good..
Man#2: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau le Shlasseler, eh, Guissay?
Man#3 (Terry Jones): Oh, you're right there, Robidaier.
Man#4 (Eric Idle): Who'd 'ave thought, thirty year ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Shlasseler, eh?
Man#1: Aye, in them days we was glad to have the price of a cup of tea!
Man#2: Aye, a cup of cold tea!
Man#4: Without milk or sugar!
Man#3: Or tea!
Man#1: Aye, in a cracked cup and all!
Man#4: Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!
Man#2: Aye, the best we could manage in those days was to suck on a piece of damp cloth!
Man#3: Aye, but we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
Man#1: Because we were poor! My old dad used to say to me: Money doesn't buy you happiness!
Man#4: Aye, he was right, I was happier then and I had nothing. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
Man#2: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We had to all live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, and were all huddled together in a corner for fear of falling!
Man#3: You were lucky to have a room! We used to 'ave to live in a corridor!
Man#1: Oh, we used to DREAM of living in a corridor. It would have been a palace to us. We used to have to live in an old water tank in a rubbish pit. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House! Huh!
Man#4: Well, when I say house, it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!
Man#2: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake!
Man#3: You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us, living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!
Man#1: Cardboard box?
Man#3: Aye!
Man#1: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down at the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home, our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt.
(slight pause)
Man#2: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of damp gravel, work a twenty-hour day at the mill for tuppence a month, and when we got home, our dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
Man#3: Well, of course, we 'ad it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and lick the road clean with our tongue. We 'ad two bits of cold gravel, and worked a twenty-four hour day at the mill for six or seventy-four years, and when we got home, our dad would slash it to us with a bread knife.
Man#4: Right. I had to get up at ten o'clock at night, half an hourbefore I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our mother and father would kill us and dance on our graves singing Halleluja.
Man#1: Aye, and you try telling young people of today that. And they won't believe you.
Man#4: Aye, they won't!
Veilingmeat
03-06-2007, 09:55 PM
Hmmm..i suppose it is cheating a bit :tongue: I got caught in the moment there also!!
anyway...
this quote is hilarious..infamous "This man commands a cwack legion! He wanks as high as any in Wome!"
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 10:01 PM
If you can't imagine the accent,
Watch it here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo
Veilingmeat
03-06-2007, 10:02 PM
This is my absolute favourite. I had to get the full thing off google coz it's so long but I piss myself laughing everytime I see it and now that I've read it....I piss myself laughing just reading it too
Luxury!
Man#1 (Michael Palin) Aye! Very fussable, eh? Very fussable bit, that? eh?
Man#2 (Graham Chapman): Grand meal, that was, eh?
Others: Yes, wonderful, yes very good..
Man#2: Nothing like a good glass of Chateau le Shlasseler, eh, Guissay?
Man#3 (Terry Jones): Oh, you're right there, Robidaier.
Man#4 (Eric Idle): Who'd 'ave thought, thirty year ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Shlasseler, eh?
Man#1: Aye, in them days we was glad to have the price of a cup of tea!
Man#2: Aye, a cup of cold tea!
Man#4: Without milk or sugar!
Man#3: Or tea!
Man#1: Aye, in a cracked cup and all!
Man#4: Oh, we never had a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!
Man#2: Aye, the best we could manage in those days was to suck on a piece of damp cloth!
Man#3: Aye, but we were happy in those days, though we were poor.
Man#1: Because we were poor! My old dad used to say to me: Money doesn't buy you happiness!
Man#4: Aye, he was right, I was happier then and I had nothing. We used to live in this tiny old house with great big holes in the roof.
Man#2: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We had to all live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, and were all huddled together in a corner for fear of falling!
Man#3: You were lucky to have a room! We used to 'ave to live in a corridor!
Man#1: Oh, we used to DREAM of living in a corridor. It would have been a palace to us. We used to have to live in an old water tank in a rubbish pit. We got woke up every morning by having a load of rotting fish dumped all over us! House! Huh!
Man#4: Well, when I say house, it was only a hole in the ground covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!
Man#2: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake!
Man#3: You were lucky to have a lake! There were a hundred and fifty of us, living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!
Man#1: Cardboard box?
Man#3: Aye!
Man#1: You were lucky. We lived for three months in a paper bag in a septic tank. We used to have to get up at six in the morning, clean the paper bag, eat a crust of stale bread, go to work down at the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for sixpence a week, and when we got home, our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt.
(slight pause)
Man#2: Luxury. We used to have to get out of the lake at six o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of damp gravel, work a twenty-hour day at the mill for tuppence a month, and when we got home, our dad would thrash us to sleep with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
Man#3: Well, of course, we 'ad it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o'clock at night, and lick the road clean with our tongue. We 'ad two bits of cold gravel, and worked a twenty-four hour day at the mill for six or seventy-four years, and when we got home, our dad would slash it to us with a bread knife.
Man#4: Right. I had to get up at ten o'clock at night, half an hourbefore I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our mother and father would kill us and dance on our graves singing Halleluja.
Man#1: Aye, and you try telling young people of today that. And they won't believe you.
Man#4: Aye, they won't!
:lmao2: That is a good find LOL, the secret policemans ball i beleive, excellence in its own right :laugh:
"Right. I had to get up at ten o'clock at night, half an hourbefore I went to bed, drink a cup of sulphuric acid, work twenty-nine hours a day down at the mill and pay the mill owner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our mother and father would kill us and dance on our graves singing Halleluja"
thats just hilariously funny!
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 10:11 PM
Ok, I was wrong, I'm enjoying the videos too much and now I'm hooked watching them
Remember this from the Life of Brian? Jehovah stoning sketch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNeq2Utm0nU
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 10:20 PM
HAHAAA....the Holy hand grenade of Antioch :laugh: and Tim the enchanter!!! lol
but let us not forget "I will not have my fwiends widiculed by the common soldiewy. Anybody else feel like a little... giggle... when I mention my fwiend... Biggus...Dickus!"
Don't you mean THIS SKETCH (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNeq2Utm0nU)
Throw him to the floor Centurian!
Oh I'm having too much fun with this!
Little Bird
03-06-2007, 10:23 PM
Oh God! Just when I think I'll leave this for the night, I find another sketch I just adore
HERE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krb2OdQksMc)
Priceless - "How shall we f*ck off Oh Lord?"
And of course:
" I say you're the Messiah. I should know. I've followed a few "
What were they smoking when the wrote this stuff.
Veilingmeat
03-07-2007, 12:18 AM
LMAO!!!! Too funny all of it...theres just never enough
Remember this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVWH01E2weA
and Mr Creosote from 'The Meaning Of Life':
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hf7PuP2IlN0 absolutly twisted that one...but has me in tears of laughter
Eibhlin
03-07-2007, 01:05 AM
hey it doesn't specify this is the Monty Python -Quote- Thread, just the Monty Python Thread, and it had been atleast a decade since I had cable and could watch Flying Circus, so I did what I could with what I had :-P
lol, besides, now it is conveniently located within the forum for those who have never experienced the lunacy that is Monty Python!
see, I had our beloved members in mind!
Veilingmeat
03-07-2007, 05:54 PM
lol, but theres only 3 of us so far, thats actualy gone Monty Python bonkers!!!
Eibhlin
03-07-2007, 06:39 PM
shush, I am trying to make myself look like I care about the multitudes and not just myself:ohmy:
Little Bird
03-07-2007, 07:03 PM
It only takes 1 Marc, it only takes 1!
Oh albatross I forgot that one
"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.”
Thank you for that. You just made me laugh away my two day continuous hangover. OHH I LOVE YOU! Haven't heard that since I was six or seven years old, God bless you.
Eibhlin
03-07-2007, 10:56 PM
now if I could only laugh away this blasted migraine...lol
le sigh, I really miss Comedy Central and Flying Circus, I also really really miss The Kids in the Hall
and I can't find any KITH videos on YouTube or Veoh:sad::cry:
never.alone
03-08-2007, 06:32 AM
Its soo ironic that this thread was here when i got back from nyc cos i went and saw spamalot on broadway and that was the first time id ever seen anything monty python and i absolutely loved it!!!
Little Bird
03-08-2007, 08:15 AM
Spamalot is brilliant. Glad to see you back Jessica
We'll make a Monty Python fan out of you yet!
Hey, what is Veoh? ANdrea mentioned it just a few posts back?
Never heard of it, is it like YoTube?
Veilingmeat
03-26-2007, 09:33 PM
Hey, what is Veoh? ANdrea mentioned it just a few posts back?
Never heard of it, is it like YoTube?
Hell knows???? Andrea just sometimes rants jibberish nonsense...personaly, i'd ignore it mate :tongue:
*I'm now dead for saying that* hehe...she'll skin me alive!!!!
Eibhlin
03-26-2007, 09:46 PM
YOU are talking about ME talking gibberish?? This from the King Cockney Gibberer?? Well, ok, from you it is a compliment I guess!
Veoh is kinda like YouTube, but called Veoh
lol www.veoh.com
'Then you shall eat the fruit, acting as a weapon, therefore rendering him helpless!'
Veilingmeat
07-17-2007, 04:57 PM
Bloodymother????
Eibhlin
07-17-2007, 11:40 PM
Albatross!
Eibhlin
07-17-2007, 11:40 PM
It's merely a flesh wound!
Veilingmeat
07-18-2007, 02:06 AM
I'v ad worse...comon yer pansy!!!
ROBARE
07-18-2007, 06:07 AM
I just had a flash back of the white rabbit...thks guys this brings back alot of days gone by in the basement watching MPC..I loved it!! Hes got big teeth!!
Little Bird
07-18-2007, 08:11 AM
"Pining for the fields?!"
Veilingmeat
07-18-2007, 10:14 PM
I just had a flash back of the white rabbit...thks guys this brings back alot of days gone by in the basement watching MPC..I loved it!! Hes got big teeth!!
LMAO...the infamous Rabbit of Caerbannog :laugh:
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
He's got huge, sharp...eh...he can leap about.....look at the bones!
kelane6
07-18-2007, 10:20 PM
I love all this MP! It brings back so many high school memories. It's the one great thing I got out of my first high school boyfriend...Monty Python & the Cure! My kids are now quoting Monty Python, or can finish the quotes when I start something..........have to pass somethings on thru the generations!!!!
Veilingmeat
07-18-2007, 10:49 PM
Indeed...i think theres no other humour like it...and shall never beat it!
and just coz i had to for those who want a wee giggle...here is the infamous killer white rabbit, in all its vicious blood thirsty glory :P
sGP4dbKFluc
What did he say agian, 'Those teeth! Look at the bones!'
Ee-aa-es who do he ne! Donna ye-es reqiuem!
And the peoplefeasted upon the lambs, and the sloths, and the carps and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and the lives....'
ROBARE
07-24-2007, 05:35 AM
Thks for posting the vid.It gave me a very long smile...What fish was needed to cut down the tree?
Veilingmeat
07-24-2007, 08:04 PM
:wink: np! and your next quest is to cut down the mightiest tree in the forest wiiiiiith....a Herring!!!!
ROBARE
07-30-2007, 04:44 AM
So it was! So it was!
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